What’s wrong with these people? What’s wrong with me?

Have you ever been left feeling stunned by someone’s reaction to a situation?  You can’t figure out why they reacted that way?

• Perhaps they move quickly from one project to the next, have loads of things going all at once and you don’t know whether they’re coming or going.
• Perhaps they love mixing with people, have an outgoing and impulsive nature, and you’re more of an introvert.
• Perhaps they put everyone else’s well-being before their own, work harder than anyone else without taking credit for it, and you worry they’ll get exploited by others?
• Perhaps they favour logic and well thought-out plans to impulsive actions, with a big perfectionistic streak, and you only want to skim over things.

This is simply because their personality type is different from, and at times totally opposite, to yours. They’re not right, they’re not wrong – You’re not right, you’re not wrong – We’re all just different!

Following a number of specific incidents in our life as we were growing up, we decided on how best to behave in order to blend in or to be accepted.  Note that I use the term “decide” as it was not so much the situation which affected us, rather what we felt and thought about ourselves at the time of the incident. This meant we decided on a behaviour/thought/feeling we believed would help us in the long run.  This shaped what is known as our “personality”.

Before I go any further I would like to stress here that we are NOT our personality.  We are therefore able to change and adopt more useful ways to respond to a situation.

One of the initial tasks my Beyond Success Coach asked me to do was to complete a Personality Profile questionnaire.  I had never completed such a questionnaire before and was quite fascinated and curious to find out what would result from this test.  I could not believe that people who had never met me could profile me with such accuracy… It was pretty amazing!

As I developed a better understanding of the various personality profiles and their idiosyncrasies, I came to accept that with some people, providing lots of details, facts and figures was essential.  With other people, a simple direct answer was sufficient.  Some people were extroverts and others were introverts.

I now use the strengths from each of the four personality types ⁽¹⁾ to my advantage, and respond in a more effective way (and with less frustration!) to others’ interactions.

Understanding your own personality profile will enable you to identify your major strengths and how you can work with them more effectively. You will gain a better awareness of the gifts within you and how to best use them.

You will recognise your limitations and learn to accept them for what they are – simply limitations because limitations are not who you really are!  You will then get the opportunity to develop a plan to rectify and modify these limitations.  It is not about right or wrong, just what’s more helpful to you in the long run.

If you are open and willing to look at the various personality types, you will understand other people’s source of motivation as well as yours.  You will communicate more effectively with others as you will know what makes them tick and what makes you tick.  You will be able to adjust your behaviour and thought patterns to adopt better ways to get your message across first time, every time.

How about giving this new, exciting skill a go!

I’m ready to assist you become the best version of YOU that you can be.

⁽¹⁾ As developed by Beyond Success

After reading with keen interest the article below a few years ago I questioned myself.   Was I really regularly complaining about ‘how difficult’, ‘how demanding’, ‘how much effort’ a task could be?

I had to be honest with myself and admit that, yes, I found it much easier to procrastinate or complain.  I was a ‘victim’ of circumstances, people, time, etc, and therefore it was a struggle to do or be what I wanted to do or to be.  The effort was too great!

I would often end up feeling guilty for having, once again, opted out and wasted more of my time.

I decided to try out this ‘love the effort’ thing!  I must admit that at first it was not easy to ‘love the effort’ and the ‘victim of circumstances’ in me was crying out!

Reading through the article again I began to understand I could choose a more helpful attitude.  Once I changed my mindset and made ‘love the effort’ one of my habits, my approach to my work tasks and personal life chores became more gratifying.

I now accept that yes, an effort may be involved in my daily tasks, except now I love feeling that, step by step, I achieve what I set to do. Gratitude has now replaced ‘victimhood’.

Here it is… I invite you to read this short article and then consider how ‘love the effort’ may help change your life for the better.

Love the Effort

To do your best at the effort, love the effort.  Rather than avoiding and delaying and cursing what you must do, dive into it with gratitude and enthusiasm.

If it must be done, you might as well do it in your most effective and creative state.  Instead of assuming that any particular task is undesirable, approach it as the very best thing you could be doing at the moment.

Those who assume that effort is a curse are repeatedly beaten down by the efforts they must make.  Those who see effort, any effort, as a blessing end up being truly blessed by those efforts.

It’s your choice, so make the smart, empowering one.  Decide to embrace, enjoy and love the effort, and you’ll reap great benefits from it.

The ability to make a difference by taking action is an essential element of life.  Choose to rejoice at every opportunity to do so.

Lose the complaints, the self-pity, the feelings of frustration, and love the effort.  Love the effort you give to life, and discover how much the whole life loves you back.

Ralph Marston